The birds..almost like Hitchcock

As is school policy, the bus driver will not let Gunnar off the school bus unless there is an adult home to greet him. So every day, at the usual time, I peer out the large picture window in our dining room, watching for glimpses of the big yellow bus, so I can be ready to pop out of the house and greet my gregarious boy as he descends the stairs of the "big banana" (Freds description of the bus, not mine).

However, today, I reminded myself to slow my pace, relax and enjoy every moment. No toe tapping impatiently waiting.... So with that, I sat myself down on the deck stairs outside of the door. I brought with me my latest Country Living magazine and thought I'd take the moment to peruse through pages of perfectly decorated mudrooms and stylishly casual kitchens. As I turned the pages, I became aware of the sounds of birds chirping....maybe 20, then 50, then 100! Birds swarmed to the Silver Maple tree that I was currently sitting under and I reflected on how lucky I was to witness such natural beauty. I returned to my magazine. Plop. Drop....silence.....plop, drop, drop.....I looked up connecting the sounds to the subtle movements of leaves on the ground with each plop. After listening to what sounded like gentle droplets of rain falling from branches after a morning mist...it dawned on me that the sun was shining and the plops were definitely NOT rain. Yes, it was the birds pooping, by the hundreds! Then as I peer upward into the canopy of the tree, I also realized that I was well within the danger zone and began beating my hands onto my Country Living Magazine as if it suddenly transformed into bongo drums. Thankfully, the birds took the cue and en masse flew to another tree. So much for relaxing....but it did give me a chuckle I would have otherwise missed.

Silly surprises are not always happy.

Friday was Paige's 7th birthday. Like most young children, she had been literally counting the days since January, marking off the days on the calender, anticipating a fun-filled day of special attention, cake and, of course, presents. So as the day creeped forward, and I shopped for the presents on her ever-changing list, I came across some cans of "Silly String."

Now I've often heard of this product, seen demonstrations on tv and most recently even heard of it's use by US soldiers to somehow detect the presence of mines abroad. It's been on store shelves for years, but until now I've never considered buying it. Why? Well, the $1.99 price tag, per can, seemed to be a dollar and ninety-nine cents waste of money. And, quite frankly, the whole concept of spraying string into the air, seemed, well.... "silly." But today, you see, the $1.99 can of Silly String was only 90 cents. The perfect price for a silly surprise for my daughter on her birthday and for her mom to step frivolously outside of her practical box. I bought three.

I allowed Paige one present before school, but made her wait until after school, after Dad got home and after dinner before she could open the remainder of her presents. It was excruciating for her and I endured lots of "you're not fair!" statements. But ultimately, I enjoyed adding to her anticipation of the event.

I delightfully plotted the moment when brightly colored foamy strings would fly in the air above her head like fireworks, invoking surprise and delight! All the while, I'd also allow my other children to enjoy the moment. You see, it was to be their fingers on those silly little cans of fun!

I gave special instructions to wait for the moment after the candles were blown out. I've heard of silly string igniting and I did, like all good mothers do...I scared the bahjeebers out of those two little trigger fingers to avoid this from happening in my house! I also instructed them to spray away from Paige and the birthday cake. Afterall, who wants to eat cake with silly string all over it?

So when the time came, after dinner, to present Paige with her vanilla-frosted strawberry supreme cake, I instructed her to cover her eyes until we stopped singing to her. She covered her eyes, we began to sing and I handed the cans to the kids and husband. They concealed the cans below the table, and as instructed, waited until Paige blew every last candle out.

The string flew!!!! Ignoring my second instruction, it flew directly at Paige, covering her and the strawberry supreme cake in a cocoon of foam. She did not think this surprise delightful. She did not think this suprise fun. And, I think, all "silliness" was completely lost on her. Unfortunately, she did think it startling and scary. And cried. And cried.

It is in these moments of parenting that the entire world falls down beneath you, leaving you a single square foot of earth to stand on. You are alone and exposed as the awful parent that you are! You just caused your beloved child hurt and distress. And, although you never intended this horrible outcome, it was done on purpose. You know it. She knows it. And, at this point, there's little you can do to make it better.

It's very humbling to know that "mother does NOT always know best."


...Now, I can't simply leave the story here. I will put you out of your sympathetic misery and let you know that eventually the tears did stop and Paige enjoyed the rest of her birthday. In fact, I later handed her a can and instructed her to spray the kitchen window. She did, giggling the entire time!

And away we go.

I've often wanted to be able to jot down the touching, funny or enlightening moments that present themselves between the usuals mundane activities of my life. So here we are in the "age of the blog." And here I am. Hopefully, this can be an archive for my children and increasingly forgetful brain. A way to take a peek into the past and prompt a fond memory or chuckle. And away we go...